Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
