he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
PANTIES FOUND
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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