I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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