My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
