escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
