suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You pole danced in your parka.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
