I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
