Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
