just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
