There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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