their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
