so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
