Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
