Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
