Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
