They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
