ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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