I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
