somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
they're like a gay fantastic four
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
