I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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