i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
