3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
