Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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