so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
