It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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