they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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