Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
