you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
