You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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