how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
