STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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