i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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