UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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