i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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