Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
