He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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