I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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