I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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