How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
