I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
