Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Come share oat with me in your robe
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
