Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
