I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
