did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
