Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
