who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
