got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
