just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
