Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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