Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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