she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
